I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
