i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
whose ass print is on the piano?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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