Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize