Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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