i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
