Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
