even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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