Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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