I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize