So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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