My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
