Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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