bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize