question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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