so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
