I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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