Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
