She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
