I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
