I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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