I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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