no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
