So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize