It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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