I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
