porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
