That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
