y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
