How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
