His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
