she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
