I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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