Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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