I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
