I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
