Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
