I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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