She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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