my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
