Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am full of burrito and curiosity
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Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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