My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me