I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?