she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
