Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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