my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
