Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
