i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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