Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
