It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
