worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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