im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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