I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
