No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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