people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
