After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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