I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
