I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
