I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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