in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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