i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
